Pictured from left to right: Xiomara Tribufor (Saucy tart), Diggity Derr (Angry Carebear) , Maxxeon Headroom (Instigator and Concord target dummy) and Pegleg Punk (Civil servant and children's role model).
The following events occurred in the IVAR system located in Heimatar space:
[ 2008.08.05 19:24:50 ] Xiomara Tribufor > hey you better give me back my ore you little theif
[ 2008.08.05 19:25:35 ] Pegleg Punk > !!
[ 2008.08.05 19:25:47 ] Pegleg Punk > Miss Tribufor, is there a situation I may assist with?
[ 2008.08.05 19:26:11 ] Xiomara Tribufor > I think you know what the problem is F*CKER
[ 2008.08.05 19:26:17 ] Pegleg Punk > !!
[ 2008.08.05 19:26:28 ] Pegleg Punk > It would seem that I am unaware.
[ 2008.08.05 19:26:32 ] Pegleg Punk > What is the problem?
[ 2008.08.05 19:26:50 ] Pegleg Punk > I am a problem solver by nature. I will be happy to assist you!
[ 2008.08.05 19:27:29 ] Xiomara Tribufor > MY can is gone and your the only around flashing red. I saw another one with you and now a can that is yellow
[ 2008.08.05 19:27:43 ] Pegleg Punk > Interesting.
[ 2008.08.05 19:28:54 ] Pegleg Punk > I travel about Heimatar cleaning up the region.
[ 2008.08.05 19:28:55 ] Xiomara Tribufor > so where di the guy in the mammoth go>
[ 2008.08.05 19:29:15 ] Xiomara Tribufor > my can was right next to me
[ 2008.08.05 19:30:03 ] Pegleg Punk > I hire haulers to move the garbage that I find to a local dump site.
[ 2008.08.05 19:30:11 ] Pegleg Punk > Usually a land fill or space fill.
[ 2008.08.05 19:32:20 ] Xiomara Tribufor > drop the bullshit and give me stuff back NOW!!
[ 2008.08.05 19:32:44 ] Pegleg Punk > Hm.. There may be stuff in that can at your location.
[ 2008.08.05 19:33:21 ] Pegleg Punk > I really should return and clean that up. I don't want to be guilty of the very act I guard Heimatar against.
[ 2008.08.05 19:34:29 ] Pegleg Punk > Oh! Never mind the can. It is filled with biodegradable content: Amarrian refugees!
[ 2008.08.05 19:35:10 ] Pegleg Punk > If you are in need of some cheap labor, you're more than welcome to put those refugees to work!
[ 2008.08.05 19:40:51 ] EVE System > Channel changed to Usteli Local Channel
[ 2008.08.05 19:42:23 ] EVE System > Channel changed to Ivar Local Channel
[ 2008.08.05 19:45:10 ] Xiomara Tribufor > SO everyone knows PEGLEG PUNK is CAN THEIF
[ 2008.08.05 19:45:47 ] Pegleg Punk > Thief would suggest intent. My dear Tribufor, my intent was never to deprive you of your belongings.
[ 2008.08.05 19:46:01 ] Pegleg Punk > I merely clean the detritus left about in my region of space.
[ 2008.08.05 19:46:02 ] Xiomara Tribufor > then give me back my ore
[ 2008.08.05 19:46:22 ] Pegleg Punk > I turned it in to the local authorities, unfortunately.
[ 2008.08.05 19:46:38 ] Xiomara Tribufor > dude my can was right next to me I was filling it so my hualer could come get it
[ 2008.08.05 19:46:42 ] Pegleg Punk > What the Minmatar Republic does with it is their business.
[ 2008.08.05 19:46:50 ] Pegleg Punk > You did not have a permit :(
[ 2008.08.05 19:47:06 ] Pegleg Punk > When miners have a permit, I leave their stuff alone.
[ 2008.08.05 19:47:06 ] Xiomara Tribufor > BS stop being a Fing dueche bag and give my .3Mill condensed scordite
[ 2008.08.05 19:47:23 ] Pegleg Punk > It means they were considerate enough to enter an agreement with local Minmatar Authorities.
[ 2008.08.05 19:47:29 ] Xiomara Tribufor > Lets see you try it again asshole
[ 2008.08.05 19:47:32 ] Pegleg Punk > !!
[ 2008.08.05 19:47:34 ] Pegleg Punk > Oh my!
[ 2008.08.05 19:48:07 ] Pegleg Punk > You have such a potty mouth!
[ 2008.08.05 19:48:29 ] Xiomara Tribufor > it took me all morning and you come in and steal it I'm pissed off
[ 2008.08.05 19:48:48 ] Pegleg Punk > That took you all morning? :( I'm sorry.
[ 2008.08.05 19:48:54 ] Pegleg Punk > Perhaps mining isn't your forte.
[ 2008.08.05 19:49:01 ] Xiomara Tribufor > not all that but I have been minnig all morning
[ 2008.08.05 19:49:15 ] Pegleg Punk > I see.
[ 2008.08.05 19:49:34 ] Pegleg Punk > In situations such as this, my best advice is to out-source your hauling.
[ 2008.08.05 19:49:42 ] Pegleg Punk > Hire someone to store, and haul the ore for you.
[ 2008.08.05 19:49:52 ] Pegleg Punk > To avoid untimely seizures such as this.
[ 2008.08.05 19:49:56 ] Xiomara Tribufor > I have ahauler
[ 2008.08.05 19:50:07 ] Pegleg Punk > Or, purchase a mining license from the local authorities.
[ 2008.08.05 19:50:11 ] Xiomara Tribufor > I was just in his window when you came in and stole my stuff
[ 2008.08.05 19:50:19 ] Pegleg Punk > Indeed? I would fire my hauler if I were you.
[ 2008.08.05 19:50:23 ] Xiomara Tribufor > FU and the permits no such thing
[ 2008.08.05 19:50:26 ] Pegleg Punk > Innuendo?
[ 2008.08.05 19:50:34 ] Pegleg Punk > Hmm. I'm thoroughly confused.
[ 2008.08.05 20:17:03 ] EVE System > Channel changed to Ivar Local Channel
[ 2008.08.05 20:19:19 ] Xiomara Tribufor > Dudde I even saw you do it this time
[ 2008.08.05 20:19:22 ] Xiomara Tribufor > your dead
[ 2008.08.05 20:19:38 ] Pegleg Punk > We must keep this area of Heimatar clean, Miss Tribufor.
Mr. Derr warped into the asteroid belt (populated by Xiomara and myself) piloting a Drake. I had little faith that I could successfully counter Derr's ship with a Rifter, so I temporarily retired. I would return in a T2 frigate- a new experience for me. I would test my newly-acquired assault frigate against Mr. Derr's Drake.
[ 2008.08.05 20:26:31 ] Diggity Derr > don't be such a coward
[ 2008.08.05 20:26:35 ] Diggity Derr > come closer
[ 2008.08.05 20:28:01 ] Pegleg Punk > Dear sir, half the sport is "catching". And I do believe you to be a master catcher.
I closed the distance to Mr. Derr's Drake, confident to see what my shiny, new Jaguar could accomplish. Unfortunately, my Jaguar did not fair so well, and Diggity Derr won the day for his sweet-tongued Xiomara Tribufor. My first experience piloting a T2 frigate, and not the best experience to be honest. I quickly warped my pod away from the asteroid belt where Derr and I had just faced-off, and set a course to Panty Dropper's location- located in a station a couple of jumps away.
My Intent is not to Deprive!
[ 2008.08.05 20:37:09 ] EVE System > Channel changed to Ivar Local Channel
[ 2008.08.05 20:41:55 ] Diggity Derr > here pussie pussie pussie pussy
[ 2008.08.05 20:44:07 ] Diggity Derr > you are such a pussy ypsend in some else to do your dirty work huh
[ 2008.08.05 20:44:25 ] Pegleg Punk > My hired help. Faithful to the last.
[ 2008.08.05 20:46:37 ] Pegleg Punk > Great fight!
[ 2008.08.05 20:49:26 ] Diggity Derr > nice kicking your as
[ 2008.08.05 20:49:50 ] Diggity Derr > thanks for t2 gear
[ 2008.08.05 20:50:15 ] Pegleg Punk > Indeed! It was a pleasure.
[ 2008.08.05 20:50:31 ] Diggity Derr > now stay out of my space
[ 2008.08.05 20:50:43 ] Pegleg Punk > On the contrary!
[ 2008.08.05 20:50:46 ] Diggity Derr > you and you alt Aha toro
[ 2008.08.05 20:51:08 ] Pegleg Punk > I will return until you and yours stop littering!
[ 2008.08.05 20:51:22 ] Diggity Derr > I'm not littering I'm minning
[ 2008.08.05 20:51:30 ] Diggity Derr > you stop stealing
[ 2008.08.05 20:51:41 ] Pegleg Punk > Theft requires intent to deprive.
[ 2008.08.05 20:51:45 ] Pegleg Punk > And that is not my intent.
[ 2008.08.05 20:51:49 ] Pegleg Punk > Therefore I am not stealing!
[ 2008.08.05 20:52:01 ] Diggity Derr > then where is the ore you STOLE
[ 2008.08.05 20:52:12 ] Pegleg Punk > As long as you have a jet-can in space, I will be there to clean that can.
[ 2008.08.05 20:52:14 ] Diggity Derr > you are depriving me my time and ore
[ 2008.08.05 20:52:38 ] Diggity Derr > Secure cans are to small and can't be used in 1.)
[ 2008.08.05 20:52:43 ] Diggity Derr > 1.0 space
[ 2008.08.05 20:52:47 ] Pegleg Punk > Indeed.
[ 2008.08.05 20:52:57 ] Diggity Derr > jet cans are hte only way to mine in high sec
[ 2008.08.05 20:53:10 ] Diggity Derr > SO STOP STEALING FROM PEOPLE JET_CANS
Fortunately, Mr. Derr accentuated key portions of our conversation in cap locks, to diminish any potential confusion or ambiguity...
[ 2008.08.05 20:53:31 ] Pegleg Punk > If I find your jet can with contents, those contents will be removed.
[ 2008.08.05 20:53:48 ] Pegleg Punk > You have been warned, Mr. Derr.
[ 2008.08.05 20:55:12 ] Maxxeon Headroom > since this is a brutor tribe zone and being a member of the brutor tribe corp then don't I have writen permission from the corp to mine here?
[ 2008.08.05 20:55:41 ] Diggity Derr > Pegleg Punk you touch anything from mine or miss tribufors can you will not only deal with me and her but also my corp! YOU HAVE BEEN THREATEND
[ 2008.08.05 20:55:57 ] Diggity Derr > there is no permission
[ 2008.08.05 20:56:01 ] Diggity Derr > this guy is full of it
[ 2008.08.05 20:56:12 ] Maxxeon Headroom > oh I know that
[ 2008.08.05 20:56:33 ] Diggity Derr > afk for smoke break this duech is pissing me off
[ 2008.08.05 20:56:38 ] Maxxeon Headroom > just trying to us his own pretzel logic
[ 2008.08.05 20:58:26 ] Pegleg Punk > Mr. Headroom, if you leave detritus in space, the same fate will befall you as well.
[ 2008.08.05 20:58:33 ] Pegleg Punk > All of this can be avoided with a simple mining permit.
[ 2008.08.05 20:58:51 ] Pegleg Punk > Please, Mr. Derr avoid caps use. Like smoking, caps use has been linked with cancer.
[ 2008.08.05 20:59:26 ] Maxxeon Headroom > peg where's your permit
[ 2008.08.05 20:59:29 ] Pegleg Punk > Now, a mining permit can alleviate all of these headaches.
[ 2008.08.05 20:59:36 ] Diggity Derr > dude shut up with your mining permits
[ 2008.08.05 20:59:54 ] Pegleg Punk > I do not jet-can mine, therefore I do not require a permit
[ 2008.08.05 20:59:55 ] Diggity Derr > no such thing there is not a controlling corp in this sector
[ 2008.08.05 21:00:24 ] Pegleg Punk > Hence, patrol is left to diligent citizens such as myself.
[ 2008.08.05 21:00:35 ] Diggity Derr > its not fault you don't know how to maximize your mining
[ 2008.08.05 21:00:53 ] Pegleg Punk > For a small fee, we can avoid future bureaucratic entanglements.
[ 2008.08.05 21:00:55 ] Diggity Derr > leave other peoples cans alone or I will patrol for yYOU
[ 2008.08.05 21:00:59 ] Maxxeon Headroom > brutor tribe requires a permit from anyone out side the corp to conduct them selves as crash collectors
[ 2008.08.05 21:01:09 ] Pegleg Punk > Please, Mr. Derr patrol for me.
[ 2008.08.05 21:01:32 ] Pegleg Punk > Then, while you're busy following me around Heimatar, my hired hand will relieve your friend of her ore!
[ 2008.08.05 21:01:37 ] Diggity Derr > not for you against you Iwill purposely hunt you down and kill you where ever you are
[ 2008.08.05 21:01:48 ] Diggity Derr > I doubt that
[ 2008.08.05 21:01:53 ] Pegleg Punk > I see Mr. Headroom. I will leave crash collecting to you, then.
[ 2008.08.05 21:02:22 ] Pegleg Punk > I focus on space clean up or the reparation from such individuals in the form of ISK.
[ 2008.08.05 21:02:48 ] Diggity Derr > you're a tool
[ 2008.08.05 21:02:53 ] Maxxeon Headroom > that includes trash jet-cans and any other item found in brotor space
[ 2008.08.05 21:03:02 ] Pegleg Punk > I am a very sharp tool!
[ 2008.08.05 21:03:47 ] Pegleg Punk > Mr. Headroom if at a later time a discrepancy arises, then I invite you to formalize a complaint.
[ 2008.08.05 21:04:31 ] Pegleg Punk > You are obviously derelict in your duties, seeing as how I've had to move into this area and clean up.
[ 2008.08.05 21:04:44 ] Pegleg Punk > Less socializing while on duty would alleviate that problem.
[ 2008.08.05 21:11:43 ] Diggity Derr > yeah don't leave the station there pegleg puss
[ 2008.08.05 21:12:00 ] Pegleg Punk > Why shouldn't I leave the station, sir?
[ 2008.08.05 21:12:32 ] Diggity Derr > oh for now real reason
[ 2008.08.05 21:12:48 ] Pegleg Punk > Now reason. Interesting. What would that be?
[ 2008.08.05 21:13:56 ] Pegleg Punk > It is a beautiful day to travel.
[ 2008.08.05 21:15:14 ] Pegleg Punk > Mr. Derr you can purchase a mining permit for a mere 5 million per month, per corp member. A permit allows you to jet-can mine in peace.
[ 2008.08.05 21:15:21 ] Pegleg Punk > Think about it.
I provided Mr. Derr some time to think about my generous offer.
[ 2008.08.05 21:24:39 ] EVE System > Channel changed to Ivar Local Channel
[ 2008.08.05 21:25:48 ] Pegleg Punk > Mr. Derr I provided you time to contemplate your future endeavors. What say you?
[ 2008.08.05 21:26:10 ] Diggity Derr > Diggity Derr > no way in hell
[ 2008.08.05 21:26:21 ] Pegleg Punk > That is unfortunate.
[ 2008.08.05 21:27:53 ] Pegleg Punk > Well, it seems as though you and the Missus have packed it in for today. My work here is complete for the time being.
[ 2008.08.05 21:28:43 ] Pegleg Punk > I'm going to grab some chow and watch those Amarrian hussies shake it at the Minmatar A-Go-Go.
[ 2008.08.05 21:28:46 ] Diggity Derr > good so we can start things back up huh
[ 2008.08.05 21:29:34 ] Diggity Derr > have a nice pretending your not gay
[ 2008.08.05 21:29:38 ] Diggity Derr > nice time*
[ 2008.08.05 21:30:56 ] Diggity Derr > pegleg your a punk and we are going to do what ever we want
Of Mammoth and Men...and Concord!
[ 2008.08.05 21:32:47 ] Maxxeon Headroom > man minning takes forever
[ 2008.08.05 21:35:16 ] Scoodles > anyone looking to join a new corp? msg me :)
[ 2008.08.05 21:39:38 ] Maxxeon Headroom > I think Pegleg will join you
[ 2008.08.05 22:02:40 ] Diggity Derr > so pegleg if aha is your alt and she can fly a mammoth why don't you just put some minning lasers on that instead stealing my ore
[ 2008.08.05 22:05:02 ] Diggity Derr > cat got your tongue
[ 2008.08.05 22:06:05 ] Xiomara Tribufor > it takes a lot of time to mine a good amount to make the boredum worth it.
[ 2008.08.05 22:06:29 ] Xiomara Tribufor > it really sucks when dudes like you come and stealit
[ 2008.08.05 22:06:38 ] Maxxeon Headroom > zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz minning
[ 2008.08.05 22:06:56 ] Pegleg Punk > Miner's tears are priceless.
[ 2008.08.05 22:07:00 ] Pegleg Punk > To be honest.
[ 2008.08.05 22:07:14 ] Pegleg Punk > In the end, I am performing a civil service for the denizens of Heimatar.
[ 2008.08.05 22:07:31 ] Pegleg Punk > The masses of pod pilots do not want to stare at ugly cargo containers littered about.
[ 2008.08.05 22:07:40 ] Maxxeon Headroom > you serve them denizens
[ 2008.08.05 22:07:59 ] Pegleg Punk > I serve them carebear tears!
[ 2008.08.05 22:08:26 ] Xiomara Tribufor > crashing
[ 2008.08.05 22:08:33 ] Maxxeon Headroom > get away from me
[ 2008.08.05 22:08:36 ] Pegleg Punk > Cloaking device. Check.
At this point Mr. Derr (who had equipped a cloaking device to his Drake) disconnected and left Headroom to face me, alone. As Headroom and Derr were not in the same corporation, Headroom was jet-can mining into a can provided by Mr. Derr. What a truely devious form of bait! It was obvious their plan was to enrage me to flip the can Headroom was filling with ore so that Derr could decloak and demasculate me. When Derr went off-line, I was provided with an excellent oppurtunity, and who am I to pass up a golden oppurtunity such as this?
I flipped Derr's can which upset Headroom enough to commit to a dire course of action and make the ultimate mistake: Forgetting that the can I flipped was Derr's and not his, (and living up to his name) Max Headroom initiated an act of aggression against my frigate, Panty Dropper sans aggression rights! This resulted in Concord authorities delivering swift justice upon Mr. Headroom. In an instant, Headroom found his pod floating in space, surrounded by dust and debris that had been his Mammoth seconds earlier. "WOOPS!" I took the opportunity to help myself to the salvageable remnants of Headroom's ship.
[ 2008.08.05 22:09:04 ] Maxxeon Headroom > man you dick
[ 2008.08.05 22:10:54 ] Pegleg Punk > Gracias, sir.
[ 2008.08.05 22:11:11 ] Pegleg Punk > Those items will be used to fund my future endeavors!
[ 2008.08.05 22:11:47 ] Maxxeon Headroom > LOL
[ 2008.08.05 22:15:34 ] Pegleg Punk > So, Mr. Headroom you can make a Mammoth disappear. Bravo!
No longer in the mood for verbal sparring, Maxxeon Headroom quietly left the Ivar system- tail tucked between his legs!
[ 2008.08.05 22:18:45 ] Pegleg Punk > It is good to see offenders pack up and leave this section of space.
[ 2008.08.05 22:19:03 ] Pegleg Punk > I think my message finally sunk into those addle minds!
[ 2008.08.05 22:19:30 ] Pegleg Punk > I trust that you are safe and cozy, Mr. Headroom. I
[ 2008.08.05 22:20:25 ] Diggity Derr > what happend my comp crashed on me
Mr. Derr returned from his "computer crash" long after his aggression rights to shoot me had expired. That did not stop him from targeting my frigate in a vain attempt to fool me into committing a hostile action that would ultimately draw the attention of Concord authorities.
[ 2008.08.05 22:20:41 ] Pegleg Punk > Sir. You were cited for breaking the rules. Again.
[ 2008.08.05 22:20:55 ] Pegleg Punk > Headroom committed suicide :(
[ 2008.08.05 22:22:16 ] Diggity Derr > take the first shot
[ 2008.08.05 22:22:30 ] Pegleg Punk > No, sir. Ladies first: I insist you shoot first.
[ 2008.08.05 22:22:44 ] Diggity Derr > I'm no lady and I'm not stupid
[ 2008.08.05 22:22:57 ] Pegleg Punk > Your actions prove contrary to both!
[ 2008.08.05 22:23:42 ] Diggity Derr > concord will kill who ever shoots first I don't rights to attack you freely
[ 2008.08.05 22:23:58 ] Pegleg Punk > Amazing deduction!
[ 2008.08.05 22:25:58 ] Diggity Derr > dam computer is having the hickups
[ 2008.08.05 22:29:09 ] Pegleg Punk > My regards to Mr. Headroom. He seemed pretty broken up about his ship.
[ 2008.08.05 22:29:34 ] Pegleg Punk > Mr. Derr you behave yourself.
[ 2008.08.05 22:30:08 ] Xiomara Tribufor > did you kill him or did concord
[ 2008.08.05 22:30:37 ] Pegleg Punk > Fortunately, Concord.
[ 2008.08.05 22:30:52 ] Pegleg Punk > I wouldn't have wasted my ammunition on that rust-bucket.
The ore and salvage did not come close to covering the cost of my Jaguar and modules, but I did not volunteer for this civic duty because it pays well. I perform this service to the Minmatar Republic to keep Heimatar clean, and safe, for pilgrims and travelers alike. Shame on Mr. Headroom for siding with a Caldari at his ultimate expense. Shame.
A Few Days Later...
[ 2008.08.07 19:03:27 ] EVE System > Channel changed to Ivar Local Channel
[ 2008.08.07 20:52:51 ] Diggity Derr > The Clap Trap Amarrian Brothel
[ 2008.08.08 07:03:27 ] Diggity Derr > Aha are you and Pegleg flipping cans today cause if not than I will start minning
[ 2008.08.08 07:03:27 ] Xiomara Tribufor > good so we don't have to deal that dumb ars today? it's gonna be a good day after all
I had made an obvious, lasting impression with Mr. Derr and his ever polite female companion Ms. Tribufor. Yet, for every success I report to my superior(s) exists more ignorant, law-breakers that must be educated and brought to justice...
[ 2008.08.08 08:59:29 ] EVE System > Channel changed to Ivar Local Channel
[ 2008.08.08 09:08:07 ] Syldain Cygnoos > let it be
[ 2008.08.08 09:08:30 ] Syldain Cygnoos > you understand
[ 2008.08.08 09:09:14 ] Pegleg Punk > "Seeking words of wisdom, let it be!"
[ 2008.08.08 09:09:36 ] Syldain Cygnoos > let it be, you understand exactly
[ 2008.08.08 09:10:06 ] Syldain Cygnoos > my scordite where is it?
[ 2008.08.08 09:10:21 ] Pegleg Punk > Dear sir, I am a magician.
[ 2008.08.08 09:10:31 ] Pegleg Punk > I made it disappear!
[ 2008.08.08 09:10:39 ] Pegleg Punk > Begone, Miss Toro!
[ 2008.08.08 09:10:44 ] Aha Toro > :)
[ 2008.08.08 09:11:13 ] Syldain Cygnoos > i know you get it
[ 2008.08.08 09:11:33 ] Pegleg Punk > I love getting it.
[ 2008.08.08 09:11:41 ] Pegleg Punk > Do you like getting it?
[ 2008.08.08 09:12:01 ] Syldain Cygnoos > fuck
[ 2008.08.08 09:12:08 ] Pegleg Punk > EXACTLY!
[ 2008.08.08 09:12:38 ] Syldain Cygnoos > that`not the rigth way to play
[ 2008.08.08 09:13:05 ] Pegleg Punk > That is the only way to play, sir.
Confusion, consternation...bitterness. As realization sets in, another citizen is educated and my work continues.